I wrote in WHAT IF A PRIEST?, "And what if you quit your job working for the church? And you stopped going to church? And you stopped practicing the faith? And you stopped going to mass? And you stopped receiving the sacraments? And you stopped participating in the community? ... for these and many other reasons."
This is as good a time as any to mention some of these reasons. I do not pretend that any one or two of these mentioned are very good reasons for me to stop practicing the faith. They are reasons, yes, but not necessarily very good reasons. But when I add these up to a sum total, I am left with the realization and personal decision that I do not want to associate with or be affiliated with these types of people.
I continue to have much faith in God the Father, in Jesus and in the Holy Spirit. I remain for the most part Roman Catholic in my theological understanding and belief. But I do not feel close to the Catholic Church as an institution, or in many of its traditions or day-to-day practices.
The following items concern what others did or did not do that I took offense with. It is a relatively brief accounting -- I could have made it much longer. I realize I run the risk here of being quite arrogant. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I do know God DOES NOT like arrogance. I also know God DOES like honesty. Here I am being quite honest. I will mention in some future post a few reasons closer to home -- my personal psychology, so to speak -- of why I no longer actively participate in the Catholic community.
--the priest who always and at every chance stared down crying infants and their parents during his homily, refusing to speak another word so long as the rude interruption to his wisdom continued. Perhaps it never occured to this priest that the infant was simply voicing what many others were feeling about his not-very-wise homily.
--the several priests and deacon who continually put down -- no, more like condemned! -- people who are divorced and those who are homosexual. Oh, by the way, one of these priests was the one who requested my affection as mentioned in WHAT IF A PRIEST?. Not once did I hear mentioned that perhaps people who get divorced did love each other deeply but something went terribly wrong. Not once did I hear mentioned that perhaps people who are homosexual actually love each other deeply. Remember? ... God is love. Remember? ... He who abides in love abides in God. Remember? ... The gospel!
This is as good a time as any to mention some of these reasons. I do not pretend that any one or two of these mentioned are very good reasons for me to stop practicing the faith. They are reasons, yes, but not necessarily very good reasons. But when I add these up to a sum total, I am left with the realization and personal decision that I do not want to associate with or be affiliated with these types of people.
I continue to have much faith in God the Father, in Jesus and in the Holy Spirit. I remain for the most part Roman Catholic in my theological understanding and belief. But I do not feel close to the Catholic Church as an institution, or in many of its traditions or day-to-day practices.
The following items concern what others did or did not do that I took offense with. It is a relatively brief accounting -- I could have made it much longer. I realize I run the risk here of being quite arrogant. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I do know God DOES NOT like arrogance. I also know God DOES like honesty. Here I am being quite honest. I will mention in some future post a few reasons closer to home -- my personal psychology, so to speak -- of why I no longer actively participate in the Catholic community.
--the priest who always and at every chance stared down crying infants and their parents during his homily, refusing to speak another word so long as the rude interruption to his wisdom continued. Perhaps it never occured to this priest that the infant was simply voicing what many others were feeling about his not-very-wise homily.
--the several priests and deacon who continually put down -- no, more like condemned! -- people who are divorced and those who are homosexual. Oh, by the way, one of these priests was the one who requested my affection as mentioned in WHAT IF A PRIEST?. Not once did I hear mentioned that perhaps people who get divorced did love each other deeply but something went terribly wrong. Not once did I hear mentioned that perhaps people who are homosexual actually love each other deeply. Remember? ... God is love. Remember? ... He who abides in love abides in God. Remember? ... The gospel!
--the old lady telling me after Sunday 12:00 mass as Hurricane Katrina approached that she had nowhere to go but home and that she would have to trust God. She died in the storm. I don't remember the priests ever inviting those in need to come to them for help.
--the priests telling the shell-shocked congregation after Hurricane Katrina, "Move back home. We did." Nothing at all like "These are very difficult times and decisions. Pray. Do what is best for you and your family. Whatever you decide, we love you and wish you God's Blessings."
--the deacon -- of above average financial means -- who had volunteers gut his home very early on after Katrina. I can't help but think that there were people in more genuine need of that limited volunteer resource at the time.
--the priest leading the Sunday Mass "Prayer of the Faithful" with a prayer for the New Orleans Saints football team to win their playoff game.
--2 widows crying in church to me of their Katrina losses who said they had nowhere to turn for help. I'm not aware that the parish priests did anything to attempt to make a list of those in need or to reach out to them in any way.
--the priest making a fuss over the tennis shoes a young altar server wore, apparently not caring that the boy likely lost everything in Katrina and perhaps a pair of nice dress shoes was not a family priority just yet.
--the priest flicking water into an altar server's face because he didn't like the way the server held the fingerbowl out for him. Oh, by the way, the server was somewhat "slow" and likely a special-ed student. I was standing right there. I wanted to deck the guy right in the middle of mass!
--the brilliant talk given by the assistant-principal nun to a church full of elementary school children. She spoke several minutes after mass instructing them that the only truly Christian names come from the Bible or from the saints of the church. Modern names like Mattie, Maggie, Terrel and Terance just don't cut it -- not Christian, almost a disgrace. Not sure what she wanted the children to do about this sad situation that many of them obviously did not have a good Christian name: Go home and sue their parents? Demand to be driven immediately to City Hall to legally change their names? Brilliant, Sister!
--after listening to 6 years of daily homilies I can recall about 40 seconds worth. I don't want to say that most of the homilies I heard were terrible but most of the homilies I heard were terrible.
--I notice the parish spared no expense in rebuilding after Katrina, but continued to pay me a ridiculous low wage (in my opinion) considering the value of my service to the parish. I was expected to be there and on-call morning, noon and night, 7 days a week, with no backup.
--I worked 3 full years without a day off. Not once did one of the 5 or more priests or brother who lived 2 minutes from church ever offer to open the church and set up for the daily morning mass, or to set up for the daily evening mass and lock the church afterwards. Most parishes have 1 priest who does that for himself often, if not every day. If I had that generous relief offered even once or twice, I would have felt like I died and went to heaven. Not so.
If I wanted to I could blast myself for this BLAST OFF. What about all the good priests? What about all the good people? What about all the good works? What about Jesus and the Blessed Sacrament? What about the Holy Spirit guiding the Church in matters of faith and morals? What about my own apathy? And my own sin? And my own soul? I sense I've already said enough -- for now.
Sincerely,
FJS