BLOGGING SECRET WEAPON

I happened to catch a brief clip of biography when actor Steve Allen died a while back. Mr. Allen wrote many -- MANY -- books during his lifetime. He said the secret to his writing so much was that he carried a small TAPE RECORDER with him everywhere he went, readily available to capture his passing thoughts which then more easily developed into his books.

THANK YOU, Mr. Steve Allen, for this invaluable jewel of information and advice. I am indebted to you and I am certain you don't mind that I share this wisdom with the blogosphere. God Bless to you, Sir.

Sincerely,
FJS

JUST ONE STEP AHEAD

I opened the early post I'VE COME TO REALIZE with "Life is short. It passes by very quickly." Indeed it does. My ex-wife died of brain cancer at 58. My best friend's husband died of a heart attack at 52. My sister-in-law's brother was murdered in his 30s. I gave a eulogy some years ago for a 6 year old child who died of heart failure. The concept of this current post is that people who die are Just One Step Ahead of the rest of us. None of us are very far behind. We will all get there in short, due time -- some sooner; some a bit later; but all of us will get there ... relatively speaking ... Relatively Soon.

I have a few memories of when I was 6 years old. I remember these as though they occurred not yesterday or even last week, but perhaps a few weeks ago, or a few months ago, or at most a few years ago. In fact, it was a half-century ago that I was 6. I am 56 years old now. I am clearly over-the-hill. I am beyond halfway home. I will not see 112.

My parents are up in age now. My dad is 89; my mom 82. Their bodies and minds are not working so very well for them as in years past. My parents raised 8 children and it is now time for us to circle the wagons and provide the support that our parents require. A benefit of having so many children -- perhaps the only benefit? -- is that the children (hopefully) will be available to the parents in their time of need. Four of my brothers and sisters live out of town from my parents. They are not physically available to our parents at this time, but they do provide much concern, good ideas and strong emotional support to all of us. I am beginning to organize a rather loose version of Circle of Support (refer to the post TOUCH ONE LIFE DEEPLY-2) among my brothers and sisters on behalf of our parents.

I spend about 40 hours per week now driving a delivery route for my current work. I travel from Southwest Louisiana to Northwest Florida. A lot of time on the road -- city streets, back roads, highways, interstate. I pass many -- MANY! -- roadside memorials to those who have died in automobile accidents. I'm sure I have passed several hundred memorials in 3 years of driving the route. Passing these memorials always reminds me that I live by the grace of God. It would take about a split second for something to go wrong on the road and for my life to quickly end. I am always saddened to pass these memorials, and I am always frustrated by the obvious lack of safety that so many drivers flaunt.

I'm not suggesting that I am the finest driver in the world -- but I do TRY to drive safely. I am not suggesting that there would be no automobile accidents if everyone drove like me. But there would be A LOT FEWER accidents! A LOT FEWER needless deaths!

I have an idea that I would like to see happen, but I personally do not have the time to get it going. I hope someone reading this post will take my idea and run with it -- make it happen. I wish I had the time when I pass a roadside memorial to stop my deliveries just long enough to jump out the truck, say my prayers for those deceased, and take a photo of the memorial. Then post all of these memorial photos on a blog or website. I would like it to be a collection both of my local region/state and expand to include photos from across the nation. A national memorial dedicated to prayer for those who have died on our roads and their families and friends. A reminder to all of us that life passes by quickly and that we should cherish each moment ... and that we should DRIVE CAREFULLY!

Many people drive as if they never expect anything to go wrong -- not with themselves, their vehicle, or the people or vehicles around them. They are either very selfish or idiots or both. They leave NO ROOM WHATSOEVER FOR ERROR. They drive 70+ miles per hour, bumper to bumper, car after car. A frequent thought while I am driving is ... SOMETHING VERY EASILY COULD GO WRONG IN A SPLIT SECOND AND WHAT CAN I DO TO PREVENT IT AND HOW AM I GOING TO RESPOND IF IT DOES. I pray to my guardian angel often and I thank God every day for keeping me safe from harm -- so far.

Ernest Becker wrote a brilliant book entitled "The Denial of Death". The bottom line is that all of us are trying to find someone or something or someway to outlive our death. Someone or something to leave behind when we are gone. Someone or something in our wake. It could be a family, a child, a painting, a bridge, ... anything ... so long as it outlives us. This effort is what gives our life meaning and purpose beyond its limited self.

I do thank Google and all the Blogger geniuses and workers that make this FJS Thoughts blog possible. This represents for me in many respects my "denial of death". It is my effort to leave something behind. Something that may be of some value to someone, somewhere. I am constantly reminded as I watch close family members and friends die and as I drive past roadside memorials ... that these people are Just One Step Ahead of the rest of us. We are all not so very far behind.

Sincerely,

FJS

BLAST OFF!

I wrote in WHAT IF A PRIEST?, "And what if you quit your job working for the church? And you stopped going to church? And you stopped practicing the faith? And you stopped going to mass? And you stopped receiving the sacraments? And you stopped participating in the community? ... for these and many other reasons." 

This is as good a time as any to mention some of these reasons. I do not pretend that any one or two of these mentioned are very good reasons for me to stop practicing the faith. They are reasons, yes, but not necessarily very good reasons. But when I add these up to a sum total, I am left with the realization and personal decision that I do not want to associate with or be affiliated with these types of people. 

I continue to have much faith in God the Father, in Jesus and in the Holy Spirit. I remain for the most part Roman Catholic in my theological understanding and belief. But I do not feel close to the Catholic Church as an institution, or in many of its traditions or day-to-day practices. 

The following items concern what others did or did not do that I took offense with. It is a relatively brief accounting -- I could have made it much longer. I realize I run the risk here of being quite arrogant. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I do know God DOES NOT like arrogance. I also know God DOES like honesty. Here I am being quite honest. I will mention in some future post a few reasons closer to home -- my personal psychology, so to speak -- of why I no longer actively participate in the Catholic community.

--the priest who always and at every chance stared down crying infants and their parents during his homily, refusing to speak another word so long as the rude interruption to his wisdom continued. Perhaps it never occured to this priest that the infant was simply voicing what many others were feeling about his not-very-wise homily.

--the several priests and deacon who continually put down -- no, more like condemned! -- people who are divorced and those who are homosexual. Oh, by the way, one of these priests was the one who requested my affection as mentioned in WHAT IF A PRIEST?. Not once did I hear mentioned that perhaps people who get divorced did love each other deeply but something went terribly wrong. Not once did I hear mentioned that perhaps people who are homosexual actually love each other deeply. Remember? ... God is love. Remember? ... He who abides in love abides in God. Remember? ... The gospel!

--the old lady telling me after Sunday 12:00 mass as Hurricane Katrina approached that she had nowhere to go but home and that she would have to trust God. She died in the storm. I don't remember the priests ever inviting those in need to come to them for help.

--the priests telling the shell-shocked congregation after Hurricane Katrina, "Move back home. We did." Nothing at all like "These are very difficult times and decisions. Pray. Do what is best for you and your family. Whatever you decide, we love you and wish you God's Blessings."

--the deacon -- of above average financial means -- who had volunteers gut his home very early on after Katrina. I can't help but think that there were people in more genuine need of that limited volunteer resource at the time.

--the priest leading the Sunday Mass "Prayer of the Faithful" with a prayer for the New Orleans Saints football team to win their playoff game.

--2 widows crying in church to me of their Katrina losses who said they had nowhere to turn for help. I'm not aware that the parish priests did anything to attempt to make a list of those in need or to reach out to them in any way.

--the priest making a fuss over the tennis shoes a young altar server wore, apparently not caring that the boy likely lost everything in Katrina and perhaps a pair of nice dress shoes was not a family priority just yet.

--the priest flicking water into an altar server's face because he didn't like the way the server held the fingerbowl out for him. Oh, by the way, the server was somewhat "slow" and likely a special-ed student. I was standing right there. I wanted to deck the guy right in the middle of mass!

--the brilliant talk given by the assistant-principal nun to a church full of elementary school children. She spoke several minutes after mass instructing them that the only truly Christian names come from the Bible or from the saints of the church. Modern names like Mattie, Maggie, Terrel and Terance just don't cut it -- not Christian, almost a disgrace. Not sure what she wanted the children to do about this sad situation that many of them obviously did not have a good Christian name: Go home and sue their parents? Demand to be driven immediately to City Hall to legally change their names? Brilliant, Sister!

--after listening to 6 years of daily homilies I can recall about 40 seconds worth. I don't want to say that most of the homilies I heard were terrible but most of the homilies I heard were terrible.

--I notice the parish spared no expense in rebuilding after Katrina, but continued to pay me a ridiculous low wage (in my opinion) considering the value of my service to the parish. I was expected to be there and on-call morning, noon and night, 7 days a week, with no backup.

--I worked 3 full years without a day off. Not once did one of the 5 or more priests or brother who lived 2 minutes from church ever offer to open the church and set up for the daily morning mass, or to set up for the daily evening mass and lock the church afterwards. Most parishes have 1 priest who does that for himself often, if not every day. If I had that generous relief offered even once or twice, I would have felt like I died and went to heaven. Not so.

If I wanted to I could blast myself for this BLAST OFF. What about all the good priests? What about all the good people? What about all the good works? What about Jesus and the Blessed Sacrament? What about the Holy Spirit guiding the Church in matters of faith and morals? What about my own apathy? And my own sin? And my own soul? I sense I've already said enough -- for now.

Sincerely,
FJS

TOUCH ONE LIFE DEEPLY-2

Getting back to the topic of persons with disability and an earlier post, TOUCH ONE LIFE DEEPLY, I want now to briefly mention a few concepts that are important to become aware of and more familiar with. The following is only an introduction. Much more information can be found by entering these keywords into Google and other search engines. If I can help in any way, please ask.

INCLUSION
I think the bottom line of inclusion is that everyone is a gift and has gifts to offer others; however, this can only be realized in full when people spend quality time together. This is not to say that we are only pure and beautiful gifts to each other and that there are no challenges involved in spending time with me -- or you -- or anyone else. Most of us are a bit of a mixed bag: very nice here; fairly nice there; something to be desired there.

Inclusion brings people together -- people with disability mixed right there in the midst of things with people without disability. But inclusion doesn't just THROW people together haphazardly, with no thought or planning or strategy or design to help ensure positive experiences for all people involved. Inclusion takes knowledge and time and planning and effort and dedication and practice and learning from mistakes and learning from others and .... Inclusion is (sometimes) very hard work. But the good often seems to well outweigh the bad.

INDIVIDUALIZED SERVICE PLAN
Emphasis on INDIVIDUALIZED! This concept is often concerned with the types of paid support and services a person with disability receives. These may be, for example, from a school setting (Individualized Education Plan (IEP)) or from professional service providers, often funded by Medicaid.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it may be easier to lump ideas and people and services together into 1 or 2 large bags, and to give everyone a bit of the same thing from that large and bland portion. But -- BUT! -- when you think about it -- I am not you; you are not me; and we are not him. Everyone is a ONE! A somebody! TO EACH HIS OWN! as they say.

Individualized Service Plan takes into account the real person before us: Who they are; their strengths; their weaknesses; their desires; their needs ... and it figures wise and creative and realistic ways to provide support and services to THAT person on THEIR terms for THEIR best interests. It puts the horse before the cart --  the support and services exist for the person in need; the person in need does not exist for the benefit and ease of the support and services. All in all, a much finer way to do business.

PERSONAL FUTURES PLAN
Similar to Individualized Service Plan, but more expansive -- covers more ground -- covers all of life. They say if you don't know where you're going you probably won't get there. Personal Futures Planning is an organized way to look at A Person and work together with him/her to figure out and to make happen those things that make for a nice life experience FOR THAT PERSON! It considers the whole spectrum -- no stone left unturned: Who am I? What are my likes? What are my dislikes? Where to live? Who to associate with? What to do? When? Where? Why? How?

Dream short term -- the immediate present. Today. Tomorrow. Dream long term -- next year. Five. Ten and more years from now. Personal Futures Planning puts all of this to paper and WORKS diligently to help make dreams become reality.

CIRCLE OF SUPPORT
Unfortunately, a lot of what has been mentioned above IS NOT EASY. Some of it is VERY DIFFICULT to accomplish in reality. If it was easy for a person with disability to have a relatively rich and full life experience, everyone would be immensely happy and fulfilled and I wouldn't be writing this post. But the sad truth is that life for many people with disability leaves A LOT to be desired -- and this IS NOT! inherent in the nature of the disability itself!!!

Sometimes a person with disability requires an array of support and services, and the quality of life experience is directly proportional to the QUALITY of those supports and services. Circle of Support is a personal commitment from a small group of family and friends to MEET TOGETHER ON A REGULAR BASIS with the person with disability, and to talk and figure out and plan how to best ensure that all of the pieces of the difficult puzzle are duly accounted for: "These are the issues of concern until our next meeting. I am responsible for this. I will call him tomorrow evening. You are responsible for that. You will take care of this Monday morning. You will do this by Thursday." 

Over time, with a small group of dedicated people working TOGETHER, each accountable to the other and each personally committed to the betterment of life for the person with disability, things will get accomplished and life experience can be improved. Again, there is no substitute for putting in the time, the sweat and the hard work, but there is a real and certain joy in the effort and outcomes shared TOGETHER -- some blazing accomplishments; sometimes frustration, disappointment and perhaps defeat; some still mountains to be climbed.

BRIDGE-BUILDING
Some people are born leaders. They are PEOPLE PEOPLE. They seem to get along with almost everyone and almost everyone gets along with them. People more or less melt in their presence. It's a very nice gift to have ... and it is very rare. But if you can find that person -- a genuine, for real, no holes-barred PEOPLE PERSON -- to become involved on behalf of a person with disability, they can be a key to unlock many doors in the surrounding community of people and activity.

This person can help build bridges, so to speak, for the person with disability into the rich, full life of the neighboring community: playground, scouts, music, gardening, animals, church, sports, work, politics, science, education, theatre, fishing, boating, travel and more .... Their task is to learn the interests of the person with disability and to approach on his/her behalf the people and places in the community that provide those interests. Again, sometimes strategic planning and coordination will be necessary to pull the feat off in as smooth a way as possible, but a foot in the door that is readily accepted and trusted goes a long way toward realization of the goal.

ADVOCACY
It takes a strong person to stand up to the powers that be. It is easy to feel intimidated, or overwhelmed, or out-powered, or out-maneuvered, or out-manned, or just beat down. It would be nice to think that everyone out there is doing what they are supposed to do, in the way they are supposed to do it. It would be nice to think that you just call in the needed supports and services, plan a little here, coordinate a little there, tweak a little here, and things will go smoothingly well on behalf of a person with disability. The sad truth is -- IT JUST DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!

We're dealing here with people. People with all sorts of ideas and concepts and beliefs and ways of being. People with their own issues and lives and families and interests. People oftentimes with full slates. People with a lot of interest, or some interest, or perhaps no interest at all in trying to get it right. We're dealing here with systems and bureaucracies and rules and regulations and funding streams and this-is-the-way-it's-always-been-so-we-can't-do-it-that-way syndrome.

An advocate is a bulldog. Sometimes a sweet and kind bulldog if that will get the job done; sometimes a ferocious bulldog if it seems that is the tack to take. An advocate has a rather clear notion of the person with disability, values him/her as a PERSON OF VALUE, and will go to bat on their behalf to help make happen what is supposed to happen. An advocate could be a parent, a family member, a friend or a neighbor. An advocate stands up and calls it like it is -- trying to get it right on behalf of the person in need of a strong and sometimes unrelenting voice.

Sincerely,
FJS